


A Bad Idea

by Rachel_Lu



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: A little bit of angst, F/M, Feelings, First Kiss, Fluff, If You Squint - Freeform, Love Confessions, Sharing a Bed, idk how to tag this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-30
Updated: 2018-04-30
Packaged: 2019-04-30 01:27:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14485788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rachel_Lu/pseuds/Rachel_Lu
Summary: "She is everything, and he knows that, but she doesn’t, which in itself, is a crime."





	A Bad Idea

He tells himself it’s a bad idea.  In fact, he knows it. Knows that she will die before him, that things will be terrible when she does.  And even if she does not die, if she is instead taken from him in a crueler way, it will hurt more.

What if she decides to leave?  What if she grows tired of him, and what he will not give her?  It is enough to make pain, strong and physical, flash through him.  She is everything, and he knows that, but she doesn’t, which in itself, is a crime.

All this while she is simply sitting across from him at the table, dressed to the nines in a very foreign restaurant.  He smiled at her, simply because she was smiling at him. 

“You’re miles away,” She said, her eyes dancing. 

He shook his head. “No, I’m not, I’m right here.”

She wrinkled her nose.  “No, you aren’t. I know you aren’t because I asked you about the history of this place and you haven’t rambled even a little bit.”

“The history of this restaurant? Rose, this restaurant has been around for literally a thousand years, and-” he stopped when he saw the look on her face, and deflated. “All right, I wasn’t paying attention.”

She took a sip of her wine. “I knew it.  You can’t slip things like that past me, Doctor.”

“I won’t try to anymore,” he promised. 

“Nah, you will,” she waved him off, “But that’s alright, that’s just how you are.”  She picked her fork back up, taking her attention away from him.

He beamed at her, not for any particular reason, but just because he knew she was wonderful and he cared for her so much that he could hardly stand it.  It was wonderful to watch her unobserved. She made feel alive in so many ways, but he could never tell her. Though perhaps it would not be a bad thing if it… Slipped out. 

“Do you wanna dance?” Rose asked finally. 

“What?”

“Do you.  Want to. Dance?”

He made an odd noise, like maybe he would, but did not know how to say it.  “I suppose, I- We haven’t.”

She giggles, getting out of her chair to tug him to his feet and towards the dance floor.  He stumbled a bit, as she was moving faster than he thought she would be, but once they hit the dance floor, his hands found her waist easily. 

The music was strange to her ears, he knew it would be.  It was alien, a bit, even to him, but she grew accustomed to it, even thrived with it, because she was just that wonderful, and he could go on for ages about how wonderful Rose Tyler was. 

“You can still dance,” she remarked as he moved effortlessly with her.  “I’m a bit surprised.”

“Of course I can still dance,” he replied, insulted.  “Something like that would not change simply because my  _ appearance  _ did.”

She giggled, “What does it have to do with your appearance?”  

“It… Doesn’t,” he said lamely. 

“Well, then.  Let’s dance until I can’t feel my feet.”

****

He tells himself it’s a bad idea, but she’s had a nightmare and he finds himself flat on his back with Rose’s limbs wrapped around him.  She is clinging to him in fear, her pajamas rustling against his, since he had been on his way to actually get some sleep when he had heard her crying out in fear. 

“I’m sorry,” he whispered into the dark.

“What for?”

“For putting you in danger every day.  For making these terrible mistakes and not always putting you first.”  He felt guilty even saying it. 

She huffed against his chest.  “I wish you wouldn’t blame yourself for what I do,” she said harshly.  “I like travelling with you, and I only put myself in danger when it means that I can be helping or saving someone else.  That’s what I do. That’s what  _ we  _ do.  So I wish you’d shut up about what’s best for me.”

He kissed the crown of her head, a silent apology, and she sighed, and he sighed too, thinking that maybe they were about to fight if he said anything else.  And he really did not want to have a fight while he was in bed with her because he knew he would lose very, very quickly. 

“I’m sorry,” he said softly, “I shouldn’t tell you what to do.” 

“No, you shouldn’t.”

“You’re not… Letting go of me.”  He remarked, thinking her anger would make her turn away from him. 

She let out a long breath. “I’m never letting go of you, you idiot.”

“Oh.”

She braced herself up on him and kissed his cheek, peering down at him in the darkness.  Her eyes were shining and he had to wonder what she was thinking, though he was a bit too afraid to ask at the moment.  

They stared at each other in the darkness, neither of them saying anything, both of them far too afraid to, afraid of each other and what might come of saying anything at all.  He realized, not for the first time, that the depth of his emotions hurt her more than they hurt him. He is afraid of her. 

“You know me too well, Rose Tyler,” he finally said, after ages of silence, just looking at each other and pretending neither of them can speak.  

“Maybe it’s because I pay attention,” she whispered. “You would know me just as well, if-”

“I do pay attention to you,” he said, furrowing his brows.  “I pay too much attention to you.”

She frowned and rolled away from him, onto her side, and all of a sudden he couldn’t fathom what he’d said to upset her. 

“I care about you more than I should,” she whispered, “And you don’t care.”

He moved to be closer to her, settling against her back.  “I do care,” he whispered, his voice strangled. “You are everything to me.”

She turned over in his arms and wrapped her arms around him, saying nothing.  She didn’t need to, he decided, his arms closing around her waist and settling her against him.  They fell asleep, wrapped around each other, clinging tightly, and not planning on letting go.

********************

He tells himself it was a bad idea, bringing her here.  He never expected them to laugh at her accent, or her smile, or the way she walked.  But they did, and she noticed, of  _ course  _ she noticed.  And she was holding her head high, her jaw set, but he noticed the moment she disappeared from the room.

“Excuse me,” he said to the rather posh woman who was attempting to chat him up.  He pried her arm off of him and rushed after Rose, following the trail of her blood red gown.  He followed her, calling her name, until she turned to him, tears staining her face. 

He had never seen a woman look more beautiful.  She stood there, red gown swirling around her feet, her hair done up, pulled back from her face, and her lip trembling.  Her eyes were absolutely huge, and the second torrent of tears she had been fighting spilled over. 

“I don’t belong here,” she said, no fight in her voice at all.  “Why would you bring me here?”

He approached her but she took steps back to match his steps forward.  He stopped. “I wanted to bring you to a nice party,” he said, knowing it sounded terrible.  “I wanted to dance with you in front of all those people, I didn’t know they would act like this.”

She put her face in her hands, and she suddenly looked so small that he wanted nothing more than to gather her into his arms and carry her back to the TARDIS.  While she wasn’t looking at him he walked closer to her, until he could reach out and take hold of her elbows. 

She dropped her hands.  “With you, it was always different.  I meant something, but out there-?” She let out a wet chuckle.  “I’m just the estate chav I’ve always been, and I am so sick of not being anything else.”

“And I am so sick of you talking about yourself like that,” he snapped, moving his hands to her shoulders.  “You are my world, Rose Tyler. My  _ world.   _ I would not exist without you, and I’m not sure I would want to.  I’m so in love with you that I can’t see straight, and you can’t see it at all!”

Her mouth dropped open, and his clicked shut. He had absolutely not meant to say that.  He’d never meant to tell her. 

It didn’t really matter, though, because she was fine with it.  So fine with it, in fact, that she grabbed onto his face and kissed him.  He gasped, wrapping his arms around her and tugging her against him.

In for the penny, in for the pound, and when it came to Rose Tyler, he was all in.  They held each other, kissing desperately, clinging like they were each other’s last hope. 

“I love you too,” She sobbed when they finally broke apart, and he gathered her into his arms, tucking his face into her neck.  She was warm and kind and so human. But none of that mattered at all. What mattered was that she was Rose Tyler, his partner in crime, his other half.  

“Come on,” he said, pulling back and brushing her hair back from her face, and wiping her tears away.  “You picked out that beautiful dress and I still want to dance with you.”

Her bottom lip trembled.  “They’ll stare at us.”

He kissed her softly, pulling back just far enough to tip his forehead against hers.  “Good,” he whispered, and pulled her back to the dance floor, holding her closer than he had ever dared to before. 

******************

It was a good idea, he told himself when they made love for the first time.  To trust another being so implicitly, with every part of yourself. It was a good idea to love her, he decided, and an even better idea to tell her. 

It was a good idea to propose to her, but it didn’t feel like a good idea when Jackie was weeping all over him, tears of joy or pain he wasn’t really sure. 

It was good idea, he decided, when Rose told him she was pregnant.  He hadn’t thought they were compatible enough for it, but her smile told him that yes, it was possible, and it was happening to them.  

After seventeen hours of labor, the Doctor decided that their daughter was a very good idea indeed.  He was sat next to Rose’s hospital bed, gazing adoringly at his wife and daughter. 

“You are the most beautiful creatures I have ever seen,” he said dreamily.

“Oh, Doctor, I’m covered in sweat, I look terrible-”

“You’re beautiful,” he replied.  

She rolled her eyes and looked back to their little girl.  “I think we should call her Sarah.”

“I love that.”

“I love  _ you.” _

“I love you too.”

It was about time the Doctor was given a reward, no, a savior, for all the good deeds he did for the universe.  

And that was a very good idea indeed.


End file.
